eat away

slowly damage someone's confidence or peace of mind over time

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What does "eat away at sb" mean?

To eat away at something means to slowly damage or destroy a person's inner emotional world — their confidence, peace of mind, or sense of self — through a gradual, relentless process. The subject is always an abstract force: a feeling, a thought, or an experience such as guilt, doubt, or regret. It is never a person acting deliberately. What makes this phrasal verb distinctive is its emphasis on cumulative destruction over time — the process is quiet, persistent, and often invisible until significant damage has already been done. You will encounter it frequently in personal narratives, journalism, and reflective writing, but it sounds equally natural in spoken storytelling when someone describes a prolonged period of emotional struggle. The image at its core is almost biological — something being slowly consumed from the inside.

Examples

How to use it

abstract feeling + eat away at + person

The most common pattern: an abstract negative feeling or thought acts as the subject, and a person is the object.

Jealousy had been eating away at him for months before he finally admitted how he felt.

abstract feeling + eat away at + psychological quality

Instead of a person, the object can be a specific psychological quality such as confidence, self-esteem, or peace of mind.

The constant criticism ate away at her self-esteem until she barely recognised herself.

what + eat away at + pronoun

Questions with 'what' as the subject are a particularly natural and productive pattern, often used to invite someone to open up.

You seem distracted lately — what's been eating away at you?

something + eat away at + person

When the exact source of distress is unnamed or unclear, 'something' works naturally as a vague subject.

She couldn't identify it precisely, but something had been eating away at her ever since the meeting.

eat away at + person/quality + time adverbial

Because the verb implies a slow process, time expressions like 'for years', 'gradually', or 'over time' are very common companions and strengthen the meaning.

The unresolved argument ate away at their friendship for years until the relationship finally collapsed.

Common Collocations

guiltself-confidenceregretpeace of mindinsecuritydoubt

Common Mistakes

Using a person as the grammatical subject

The subject of 'eat away at' must be an abstract force — a feeling, thought, or experience — not a person. A person cannot perform this action directly; only what they say or do (reframed as an abstract force) can.

✗ She ate away at his confidence with her remarks.
✓ Her constant remarks ate away at his confidence.
Omitting 'at' and leaving the verb incomplete

'Eat away at' requires all three parts plus an object — dropping 'at' leaves the sentence sounding incomplete and unidiomatic, because the preposition and its object are obligatory in this sense.

✗ The doubt was eating away for months.
✓ The doubt was eating away at him for months.
Confusing 'eat away at' with 'gnaw at'

Both describe persistent inner discomfort, but 'gnaw at' suggests a sharper, more nagging sensation, while 'eat away at' emphasises slow, cumulative destruction over a longer period. They are close but not always interchangeable.

Usage

This phrasal verb is used in both spoken and written English and sounds natural in personal, literary, and journalistic contexts. It is particularly common in past tenses when describing a prolonged period of emotional suffering.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can 'eat away at' be used in the present continuous, like 'the guilt is eating away at me'?

It's possible, but the present continuous is less natural for this phrasal verb than you might expect. Because the process is gradual and ongoing by definition, native speakers more often use the simple past or past perfect to describe it after the fact ('the guilt ate away at me for years'). The present continuous works best with 'something' or 'what' as the subject — 'something is eating away at me' — where the speaker hasn't yet identified the source.

Does 'eat away at' always refer to emotions, or can it describe physical things too?

The same form 'eat away at' does exist with a physical meaning — for example, acid eating away at metal or water eating away at rock. You can tell the senses apart by the object: if it's a person or a psychological quality (confidence, peace of mind), the meaning is emotional; if it's a concrete material, the meaning is physical erosion. This page covers only the emotional sense.

Can I use 'eat away at' in the passive, like 'his confidence was eaten away at'?

No — this construction doesn't work in the passive in natural English. Because 'at' is a preposition that takes the object, rearranging the sentence into a passive produces something grammatically awkward that native speakers don't use. Stick to the active structure with an abstract subject.

What kinds of things can be the subject of 'eat away at'?

The subject should almost always be a negative abstract force: emotions like guilt, shame, jealousy, or grief; mental states like doubt, anxiety, or insecurity; or persistent thoughts and experiences like regret or resentment. Avoid using a person as the subject — instead, frame what the person said or did as the abstract force ('her silence ate away at him', not 'she ate away at him').

Is 'eat away at' too informal for essays or journalistic writing?

Not at all — 'eat away at' sits comfortably in literary, journalistic, and reflective writing, as well as in spoken storytelling. It has a slightly literary quality that actually makes it well-suited to more crafted writing. You would avoid it only in highly technical or formal academic contexts where figurative language is generally discouraged.

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