talk out

persuade someone not to do something

B2

What does "talk sb out of sth" mean?

To talk someone out of something means to use words and reasoning to persuade them not to do something they were already planning to do. The focus is on active, verbal persuasion — you are not just expressing doubt, but genuinely working to change someone's mind. It often implies that the person had a clear intention before the conversation, and that intention was successfully (or almost successfully) reversed. You can also use it reflexively — 'talk yourself out of something' — which describes convincing yourself not to go through with a plan, sometimes out of doubt or fear. The phrasal verb is neutral in tone and fits comfortably in everyday conversation, journalism, and professional contexts alike.

Examples

How to use it

talk + person + out of + gerund

The most common structure — the person comes between 'talk' and 'out of', and the action they're being dissuaded from is expressed with a verb in -ing form.

Her parents talked her out of taking the job in another city.

talk + person + out of + noun phrase

When the thing being avoided is a plan, idea, or decision, it can follow 'out of' as a noun phrase rather than a gerund.

The financial adviser talked them out of the investment after showing them the risks.

talk + pronoun + out of + it

When the action being avoided is already clear from context, 'it' is commonly used as a short replacement after 'out of'.

He was going to quit the course, but his tutor talked him out of it.

talk + yourself + out of + gerund/noun phrase

The reflexive form is used when someone convinces themselves not to do something, often suggesting self-doubt or hesitation.

She had a great business idea but talked herself out of pursuing it.

be talked out of + gerund/noun phrase

The passive form is used when the focus is on the person who was dissuaded rather than the person doing the persuading.

He was eventually talked out of making the complaint by a colleague.

Common Collocations

talk someone out of a decisiontalk someone out of quittingtalk someone out of ittalk someone out of leavingtalk someone out of an ideatalk yourself out of something

Common Mistakes

Infinitive after 'out of'

After 'out of', you must use a gerund (-ing form), not an infinitive. This is a very common error because learners may follow the logic of other persuasion verbs that take infinitives.

✗ She talked him out of to leave the company.
✓ She talked him out of leaving the company.
Confusing 'talk out of' with 'talk into'

'Talk out of' means to persuade someone NOT to do something, while 'talk into' means to persuade someone to do something. These are opposites, so using the wrong one completely reverses the meaning.

✗ He was nervous about presenting, so she talked him out of it. (if she encouraged him to present)
✓ He was nervous about presenting, but she talked him into it.
Wrong word order — person after 'out of'

The person being persuaded must come between 'talk' and 'out of', not after it. Placing the person after 'out of' produces an ungrammatical sentence.

✗ I tried to talk out of my friend the decision.
✓ I tried to talk my friend out of the decision.

Usage

This phrasal verb is neutral and works in both spoken and written English. It is the everyday conversational equivalent of the more formal verb 'dissuade'. The reflexive form 'talk yourself out of something' is very common and means to convince yourself not to do something.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can 'talk out of' be used when the person wasn't actually persuaded — for example, if they went ahead and did it anyway?

No — 'talk out of' implies that the persuasion succeeded, at least in that moment. If the person ended up doing the thing anyway, you would say 'tried to talk someone out of' to signal the attempt failed. Saying 'I talked him out of quitting' strongly implies he didn't quit.

Is 'talk yourself out of something' used differently from 'talk someone else out of something'?

The core meaning is the same — dissuading from an action — but the reflexive form often carries a connotation of self-doubt or missed opportunity. When someone 'talks themselves out of' something, it frequently suggests they were too cautious or fearful, rather than making a wise decision.

Can I use 'talk out of' in the present continuous — for example, 'I'm talking her out of it'?

It's possible but sounds a little unusual in most situations, because 'talk out of' typically describes a completed act of persuasion. The present continuous can work if you want to emphasise that the persuasion is actively in progress right now, but it's much less common than the simple past or present simple.

Does 'talk out of' have any other meanings I should know about?

The sense covered here — persuading someone not to do something — is the main meaning of 'talk out of'. Note that 'talk out' (without 'of') is a different phrasal verb meaning to fully discuss a problem until it is resolved, so the three-part form and the two-part form should not be confused.

What kinds of things can follow 'out of'? Can I use any noun?

You can use a gerund (e.g. 'out of quitting', 'out of going') or a noun phrase referring to a plan, idea, or decision (e.g. 'out of the idea', 'out of the deal', 'out of it'). The thing after 'out of' should be something the person was intending to do or commit to — abstract nouns like 'happiness' or 'hope' would not fit naturally here.

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