wear down

slowly make someone weaker or less determined by continuous pressure

B2

What does "wear sb down" mean?

To wear someone down means to slowly reduce their will to resist or refuse, through repeated pressure, requests, or persistence over time. The key idea is gradual erosion — it is not a sudden change but something that happens through continued effort. A child who keeps asking for a later bedtime, a negotiator who keeps pushing for better terms, or a campaign that keeps applying pressure can all eventually wear someone down. The object is always a person or something belonging to a person, such as their resistance, resolve, or defences. Adverbs like 'finally', 'eventually', and 'gradually' appear very naturally alongside this phrasal verb because the process always takes time.

Examples

How to use it

wear + person + down

The most common structure, where the object (a person or group) is placed between the verb and the particle.

The sales team finally wore the client down after three weeks of negotiations.

wear down + person/resistance/defences

When the object is a longer noun phrase or an abstract quality like resistance or resolve, it can follow the particle without separating.

The relentless questioning managed to wear down the suspect's resistance.

wear + pronoun + down

When the object is a pronoun, it must always go between the verb and the particle.

The kids kept asking to stay up late and eventually wore us down.

be worn down + by + agent/cause

The passive form works naturally and is commonly used to describe how someone has been gradually weakened by persistent pressure.

After months of relentless lobbying, the committee was worn down by the campaigners.

try to / manage to + wear (someone) down

This phrasal verb often follows verbs like 'try to' or 'manage to', highlighting the effort or success involved in the process.

The opposition tried to wear down the government's resolve through a series of procedural delays.

Common Collocations

wear someone down with questionswear down resistancewear down the oppositionfinally wore them downworn down by pressurewear down someone's defences

Common Mistakes

Confusing 'wear down' with 'wear out'

'Wear down' focuses on gradually eroding someone's resistance or determination through persistent pressure. 'Wear out' means to exhaust someone through too much activity or effort — the emphasis is on tiredness, not broken resistance.

✗ The long hike completely wore down the children.
✓ The long hike completely wore out the children. / The children's constant pestering wore their parents down.
Using 'wear down' with inanimate objects in the psychological sense

In this sense, the object must be a person, a group, or an abstract quality belonging to a person (like resistance or resolve). Using a physical object as the target produces an unnatural sentence in this meaning.

✗ The pressure wore down the agreement.
✓ The pressure wore down the negotiators. / The pressure wore down their commitment to the agreement.
Pronoun placed after the particle

When the object is a pronoun, it must go between 'wear' and 'down', not after the particle.

✗ The constant criticism eventually wore down her.
✓ The constant criticism eventually wore her down.

Usage

This phrasal verb is neutral in register and works equally well in spoken and written English. It always implies a slow, gradual process, so it pairs naturally with adverbs like 'eventually', 'finally', or 'gradually'.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does 'wear down' always involve a person as the object?

In this sense, yes — the object should be a person, a group, or an abstract quality that belongs to a person, such as their resistance, resolve, or defences. If you want to describe physical erosion of an object (like a shoe heel wearing down), that is a different, intransitive sense of the same phrasal verb.

Can I use 'wear down' in the present continuous — like 'is wearing down'?

It is grammatically possible but quite uncommon in this sense. The present continuous would suggest the wearing-down is happening in real time at the moment of speaking, which rarely fits naturally. The simple past, present perfect, and past continuous tend to sound much more natural with this phrasal verb.

What kinds of things typically do the 'wearing down' — what are common subjects?

Common subjects include persistent behaviour (constant nagging, relentless questioning, repeated requests) or forces like years of pressure, attrition tactics, or a long campaign. The agent is almost always something persistent and ongoing rather than a single event.

Is 'wear down' used in formal contexts like journalism or business writing?

Yes — while it is also very common in everyday conversation, 'wear down' appears regularly in journalistic and analytical writing, especially when discussing negotiations, politics, legal proceedings, and business strategy. It is neutral in register, so it works well in both spoken and written English.

What is the difference between 'wear down' and 'break down' when talking about people?

'Wear down' implies a slow, gradual process of eroding someone's resistance or determination over time. 'Break down' suggests a more sudden emotional collapse — the person loses control of their emotions, often quite abruptly. The key difference is speed: wearing down is always gradual, whereas breaking down can happen quickly.

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