drift apart

slowly become less close to someone over time

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What does "drift apart" mean?

To drift apart means to slowly lose closeness with someone over time, without any argument or deliberate decision — it simply happens. The image is of two boats gently floating in different directions, carried by the current rather than steered. This phrasal verb captures the quiet, almost invisible process of two people becoming strangers through the ordinary pressures of life: moving to different cities, starting new jobs, having children, or simply becoming busy. It is nearly always mutual — both people drift, not just one. The emphasis is on the passive, unhurried quality of the distance: nobody chose it, nobody caused it, and often people only notice it has happened when they look back.

Examples

How to use it

subject (plural) + drift apart

The most common pattern uses a plural subject to show that the distancing is mutual and that no object is needed.

We were incredibly close in our twenties, but we gradually drifted apart.

subject (singular) + drift apart + from + person/group

When the subject is singular, 'from' must be used to specify who the other party is.

He slowly drifted apart from his university crowd after taking a job overseas.

drift apart + over + time expression

Temporal phrases like 'over the years' or 'over time' are very natural companions, reinforcing the gradual nature of the process.

The two sisters drifted apart over the years without either of them really noticing.

adverb + drift apart

Adverbs such as 'gradually', 'slowly', and 'inevitably' sit naturally before or after the verb to emphasise the unhurried, passive quality of the distancing.

Childhood friends often inevitably drift apart once they leave for different universities.

tend to / can drift apart

Modal and semi-modal constructions work well for expressing this as a general truth or common pattern rather than a specific event.

Even the closest colleagues tend to drift apart once they stop working together.

Common Collocations

old friendsover the yearsgradually drift apartdrift apart from familytend to drift apartslowly drift apart

Common Mistakes

Using a direct object

'Drift apart' is intransitive and never takes a direct object. To name the other person, use 'from' instead.

✗ We drifted apart our old friends after moving away.
✓ We drifted apart from our old friends after moving away.
Confusing with 'fall out'

'Fall out' describes the breakdown of a relationship caused by a specific argument or incident, whereas 'drift apart' suggests a slow, passive distancing with no single event to blame.

✗ They drifted apart after a huge argument about money.
✓ They fell out after a huge argument about money.
Using 'will drift apart' for likely future outcomes

Using 'will drift apart' to predict future distancing can sound forced or overly certain. Modal verbs like 'might' or 'could' sound more natural when expressing this kind of uncertain, gradual possibility.

✗ If we move to different cities, we will drift apart.
✓ If we move to different cities, we might drift apart.

Usage

This phrasal verb is neutral in register and works in both spoken and written English. It is nearly always used with a plural subject or followed by 'from + person', since the process of drifting apart is mutual and gradual.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can 'drift apart' describe a romantic relationship ending?

It can, but it is not the most typical use. 'Drift apart' works for any close relationship — friends, siblings, colleagues, or partners — as long as the distancing is gradual and without a conscious decision. If a couple formally ends a romantic relationship, 'break up' is more appropriate, as it implies a definite, deliberate ending.

Does 'drift apart' always suggest something sad?

Not necessarily — it often carries a wistful or reflective tone rather than outright sadness, especially when used in the past tense to describe something that happened naturally. In some contexts, drifting apart is simply presented as an inevitable part of life, without strong negative emotion. The sadness depends on the context the speaker adds around it.

What's the difference between 'drift apart' and 'grow apart'?

'Grow apart' emphasises that two people have changed as individuals — their personalities, values, or interests have developed in different directions. 'Drift apart' is more passive and circumstantial, suggesting the distance came from outside factors like geography or busyness rather than personal change. In practice the two overlap, but the cause implied is different.

Can I say 'I drifted apart' without mentioning who the other person is?

With a singular subject, it usually sounds incomplete without mentioning the other party using 'from'. Saying 'I just drifted apart' without a 'from' phrase would leave listeners wondering from whom. A plural subject like 'we drifted apart' works fine on its own, because the mutual relationship is already built into the subject.

Is 'drift apart' only used in the past tense?

No — it is most common in past tenses because people often reflect on relationships that have already faded, but it works naturally in the present too. You might say 'we are slowly drifting apart' to describe something happening now, or use the present simple for general truths, as in 'old friends often drift apart after graduation'.

Related Phrasal Verbs

grow apart

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